Yesterday was full of surprises. To myself, from myself. My level of tolerance, the way I reacted, to the words I spoke.

I didn't expect to find those words come out so effortlessly, as if I had crafted it with much thought, yet I knew it was right, precise, apt and direct. It shut you up and made you ponder. And at the same time, it gave me the affirmation that it was never my fault and I clearly did not deserve whatever that had occurred.

Yes, it was a good end, in a way, for me; maybe you have seen the light. But is it enough? Are those meagre attempts enough to make up for whatever it took to bring me down?

I'm taken aback with how I'm reacting to this (or not reacting, actually). Maybe this is what it feels to be in your shoes all these while. To be nonchalant and undisturbed. And I'm not even forcing myself to go against my will. It's just that I'm unwilling. Maybe this is what it feels when part of me has shut down. Whether or not you will continue to respond, whether or not you will cease any attempts to continue trying, they will let me know how things really should be.


Whatever it is, I've never been more thankful for the 3 girls who have been there for me in the most amazing ways. For all their direct responses, yet their unconditional support, they're really friends for keeps. They are all just too special.
I love you Fatin, Firah, Liyanah.